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New laws of the internet
Doubting Thomas
We're all familiar with Godwin's law, the idea that the longer any internet debate continues, the higher the actuality of someone invoking Hitler or the Nazis becomes.

Well I'd like to propose some new laws of the internet I've observed.

The Yahoo! comments law:

It is a given that the reader comments on any Yahoo! news article will eventually contain Republican vs. Democrat or liberal vs. conservative rhetoric.

The capslock of hell theorum:

There are few online religious debates without a Christian posting a rant in all caps how people who disagree with them are going to burn in hell.

The founding fathers gambit:

In any online debate about separation of church and state, a Christian will claim that the founding fathers really wanted the country to be a Christian theocracy.

Firster's fail:

It's a given that there will be someone posting "First!" to a comments thread which will be the second, third, or even fourth comment.

Can't think of any others right now, but I'll add them when I do. Feel free to add any you've noticed.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
Reign of personal experience:

If a debate concerning religion goes far enough, the believer will always bring in the 'personal experience' of feeling Jesus, et al. come into his heart (or a "miracle" happens, a 'vision' appears, etc).
"If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas." - General Sheridan
How about the one screaming about Obama? That always seems to come up on MSNBC articles, even those about such random things as oatmeal or furnace filters.
Doubting Thomas
Agreed, Schmoo, just like in the Yahoo! reader comments. If someone's not saying something about the dumb liberals, than every single problem in America is Obama's fault. And it could be on the most nonpolitical article, too.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
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