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Hold Me Back!
Hypatia
Grrrrr....

Someone I knew from school days and I recently began emailing. Most of her emails consist of forwards, and nearly all of those have been either overtly religious, or have religious overtones. She isn't yet aware of my 'nothing with religious connotations' email rule, but I will soon remedy that little problem.

This was the latest:

How all business phones should be answered... 'Good morning, welcome to the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA' Press '1' for english Press '2' to disconnect until you learn to speak english, and remember, there are only two defining forces that have ever offered to die for you: JESUS CHRIST... and our AMERICAN SOLDIERS. One died for your soul...The others for your freedom.If you agree, keep this going, if not simply hit the erase button and go screw yourself.


The sheer ignorance and blatant True Christianity of this one particularly irks me.


All I can say is, hold me back!
Edited by Hypatia on 07/31/2011 20:47
 
catman
Why should I hold you back? I'm not a big fan of 'forwards' in any case.
"If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas." - General Sheridan
 
Cynic
Indeed -- sally forth, 'Patia!
 
Theory_Execution
FORWARD TO ALL WITH A SLAP_THE_BITCH_DOWN REBUTTAL.

In caps as demonstrated above.

Throw in a few facts about founding fathers (not pilgrims, which they seem to mix up) quote your Constitution directly.

But firstly, why would you welcome someone to the United states of America over the telephone? They may already live there, never having left, or be in a foreign country with no plans of ever visiting.

It should be;
"Good Morning, you have reached (insert company here), the United States of America branch. We can not attend the phone right now as we are drowning in $15,000,000,000,000 of state debt as we continue to send our soldiers to their pointless deaths. We could begin to reduce this number by cutting handouts to religious zealots but that would involve moral scruples, something we sold to China decades ago. Please leave your name, sort code and bank number after the tone."
 
seeker
We should never have let the immigrants from England and Spain in.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
Hypatia
lol, good point T_E, and I shall sally forth.

Smile

Seeker - lol.
Edited by Hypatia on 08/01/2011 20:57
 
Theory_Execution
Seeker, you remind me, indirectly of a Bill Hicks quote, which I will butcher to my own end.....

Fun-die: "TE, why dont you let it go...."
as I talk of the murder of the American aborigines
".... it happened a long time ago."

TE: "Why don't you shut up about Jesus, he's been dead 2011 years."
 
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