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Welcome Oakland Post online visitors!
Skeeve
I've noticed quite a few visits from the kowboy story at the Oakland Post and I hope you all enjoy your stay. Smile
"The world is my country, and do good is my religion." - Thomas Paine
 
Theory_Execution
I would appreciate if a few stuck around, but I would appreciate a lack of rehashing stuff that is appearing all over the net in the same way.

I am trying to get kowboy to communicate, as opposed to 'press-release' - and for the most part, he is here.
 
seeker
I'm pretty sure the rehashing is over. Maybe we should start a letter writing campaign directed at FIRE and some of the News organizations that carried this story. They all should have done better jobs vetting sources.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
Kowboy
seeker wrote:

I'm pretty sure the rehashing is over. Maybe we should start a letter writing campaign directed at FIRE and some of the News organizations that carried this story. They all should have done better jobs vetting sources.


seeker:

I agree completely. Jezbel and The Young Turks YouTube video perpetuate the lie that I was told to stop. I never was; I was suspended beforehand. Jezbel did issue a correction and I'm still waiting on TYT.

The Oakland Post continues to tell half the story when it comes to my so-called "intimidation". Leaving out that I asked a female professor to bring her husband to a proposed off-campus meeting is like saying "Stop coming to class naked" and leaving out the fact that my clothes were covering my nudity. Context can sure wreck a good story can't it?

I'm glad OU students are visiting here. They can see what 4.0 essay writing looks like with "The Boobs I Was Not Supposed to See". That's the one where the instructor, Ms.Pamela Mitzelfeld, expressed regrets to Dean Robbie Stewart that she told me in front of her female class assistant that there were no topical restrictions and suggested a title change to "My Boobs DVD."

"Nice work. You don't bog down in history or slip into vulgarity. Good balance." - Pamela Mitzelfeld

P.S.:
Would you be so kind as to specify even one source from FIRE that was poorly vetted? Thanks so much.
Edited by Kowboy on 03/03/2012 17:18
 
seeker
Kowboy wrote:

seeker wrote:

I'm pretty sure the rehashing is over. Maybe we should start a letter writing campaign directed at FIRE and some of the News organizations that carried this story. They all should have done better jobs vetting sources.


seeker:

I agree completely. Jezbel and The Young Turks YouTube video perpetuate the lie that I was told to stop. I never was; I was suspended beforehand. Jezbel did issue a correction and I'm still waiting on TYT.

The Oakland Post continues to tell half the story when it comes to my so-called "intimidation". Leaving out that I asked a female professor to bring her husband to a proposed off-campus meeting is like saying "Stop coming to class naked" and leaving out the fact that my clothes were covering my nudity. Context can sure wreck a good story can't it?

I'm glad OU students are visiting here. They can see what 4.0 essay writing looks like with "The Boobs I Was Not Supposed to See". That's the one where the instructor, Ms.Pamela Mitzelfeld, expressed regrets to Dean Robbie Stewart that she told me in front of her female class assistant that there were no topical restrictions and suggested a title change to "My Boobs DVD."

"Nice work. You don't bog down in history or slip into vulgarity. Good balance." - Pamela Mitzelfeld

P.S.:
Would you be so kind as to specify even one source from FIRE that was poorly vetted? Thanks so much.


A poor job of lying Kowboy, especially when there is an entire thread that clearly refutes this feeble attempt. You are proving that you engage in bullying behavior though. Unfortunately for you I have a lot of experience dealing with your type of nonsense.

BTW, I've been avoiding comment about your writing. It really is not very good. I know quite a few real writers who would find your work laughable even for an amateur. The fact is that your grades are reasonable considering your relative inexperience but the work really isn't ready to show. I only mention this because you seem to have an overinflated opinion of your skills.

Maybe I'll see if I can get a friend of mine to give a critique. He is a former journalist who runs a publishing company. This could get real ugly for you.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
Theory_Execution
He is a former journalist who runs a publishing company.


If it's the one im thinking of, I miss his input.
 
seeker
It is TE.

I miss him as well and I do think he would have an interesting view of all of this.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
Kowboy


A poor job of lying Kowboy, especially when there is an entire thread that clearly refutes this feeble attempt. You are proving that you engage in bullying behavior though. Unfortunately for you I have a lot of experience dealing with your type of nonsense.

BTW, I've been avoiding comment about your writing. It really is not very good. I know quite a few real writers who would find your work laughable even for an amateur. The fact is that your grades are reasonable considering your relative inexperience but the work really isn't ready to show. I only mention this because you seem to have an overinflated opinion of your skills.

Maybe I'll see if I can get a friend of mine to give a critique. He is a former journalist who runs a publishing company. This could get real ugly for you.


seeker:

You've not show a single lie by me. Not once. Nor have you answered my request to show how FIRE was misleading either. Typical of your all-talk-no-substantiation methods.

I do appreciate constructive criticism on my writing, however, and would love to get your friend's input. I did get the input of several professors when I took 4th place in the Oakland Community College 2009-2010 Essay contest. They thought only three people wrote better than I did out of a thousand entrants or so:

http://www.oaklan...0Essay.pdf
 
seeker
Oh look. Another troll post from Kowboy. Here, I'll translate.

Kowboy wrote: (as translated by seeker)
seeker:

Wow, have I been humiliated. I feel pretty stupid but if I give up now then everyone will know so I'm going to just try calling everyone a liar until someone believes me.

I got good grades but my writing sucks and I really don't know what to do, please help me.


"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
Graduate_Student
Kowboy wrote: (as translated by seeker)


These translations are quickly becoming my favorite bit of reading in this mess.
 
catman
They are hilarious, that's a fact.
 
seeker
For those of you who may not have read the essay Kowboy posted I thought I would present for you a slightly condensed version as translated for those who may have difficulty understanding the lofty art concepts contained in his writing style. Thus without further doodoo I present:

Kowboy's 4.0 Review of Pierre-Auguste Renoir’s
“Woman in an Armchair”

as translated from the original pervert by seeker

I hadn't even gotten my raincoat fully opened before the woman turned away from me in disgust. She walked away from me in a most suggestive way as though she wanted me to follow her. How could I resist that come hither walk in combination with her furtive glances back at me, eyes wide open as though she just couldn't see enough of me. Hardly able to contain herself she exclaimed, 'Oh my God, he's following me!" and burst into a very graceful sexy run. Clearly she was playing hard to get.

Two blocks later, just as I was closing ground,a police car stopped and the woman started speaking to its occupant rapidly while pointing excitedly at me. The policeman exited his vehicle and began striding purposefully toward me, clearly he wanted to know my secret with women. Suddenly I remembered a very important appointment and, after a brief 1/2 mile sprint through a network of alleys I found myself standing in the Detroit Institute of Arts. That was when I first noticed HER.

I was in a room surrounded by beautiful renderings of nudes but I could see none of them for the vision of this incredible creature who teased me with a coquettish smile, nay, not a smile but a grimace of resignation that said, 'I haven't got a restraining order against you yet'. Her eyes, those sensuous delicate orbs, spoke of the promise of romance and even the relationship beyond as well as the subsequent jail time.

Like a wave I was overcome by memories of thirty four years ago and that first glimpse I would have of my wife. Her smile drew me like a beacon and the price was reasonable. She was, at first glance, not conventionally attractive but she had that certain something that men find attractive in all women: a vagina. Her date, a large elegantly dressed man named 'Big Mo' kindly gave me her number.

Forgive me my reverie, I moved in to examine this work more closely. Her eyes, which somehow never met mine, just seemed to say, 'come to me...why are you wearing a raincoat on such a sunny day...gee, that looks like a penis only smaller...could someone please call security.' I sighed loudly as I imagined my romantic words of comfort, 'its okay...really its only a rash...I have lots of money...no, I didn't just try to slip a rufi into your drink...fine, call the cops I'd be glad to talk to...oh my look at the time'.

Okay, this is where things get a little weird. Apparently it is illegal to masturbate in a public building in Detroit. Does no one believe in freedom of speech? Why can't a guy moan loudly and enjoy a public orgasm in peace?


For those of you who are offended by overtly sexual content I have also translated a version of this review that removes all of the sexually suggestive content.

The Censored Version Kowboy's 4.0 Review of Pierre-Auguste Renoir’s
“Woman in an Armchair” With All Salacious Content Removed

as translated from the original pervert by seeker

I...and...painting...but then...ran...arrested...trial.

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
Theory_Execution
She was, at first glance, not conventionally attractive but she had that certain something that men find attractive in all women: a vagina.


There is now a piece of onion in my lung. Dont read Seeker's work while eating.
 
catman
seeker: Excellent work! Several good laughs for me there.
"If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas." - General Sheridan
 
Kowboy
seeker:

I parody myself sometimes:

After glimpsing her out of the corner of my eye, I was smitten and hurriedly pushed past other customers to get closer. She did not disappoint; easily trouncing the competing Glock 30 in the opposite corner of the room, as well as a Heckler and Koch P2000 to become my OFCC paper subject. Considering my appreciation of long guns and all things that go boom, makes their defeat by Wilson Combat’s Close Quarter Battle 1911 Elite all the more remarkable.

There is always a certain something about a firearm that attracts a man. Thirty-two years ago, it was my mentor Skip’s .22. While my Wilson makes me smile, she has an intriguing feel of pensive power that remains timelessly captivating. Every man has seen this look on the face of a fellow gun lover. How a man comes to terms with this love reveals aspects of his character. Perhaps some will find this gunshop-induced introspection uncomfortable; I find it an emotional delight and a call for some lead-slinging.

I’ll check my emotions long enough to examine her more closely. Her demure grips meet my hand invitingly. She’s angled her grip into the “you-don’t-understand-leave-me-alone-but-not-really” position, so common of pistols her age. The layers of blueing built to protect her from the speed bumps of holsters and life hasn’t had to begin its dulling prophylactic effect, it’s much too early. Moderated anger from not having purchased her earlier is leaving my eyes and resurfacing as blush in my cheeks. No one has informed me her lack of night sights will betray my efforts at aiming in the dark. Standard sights convey a glimmer of hope. A scowl would never cross my face or send me away; she doesn’t want that.

Her sights are a straight line; melancholia is smothering the potential pout of an extended magazine. I fold my arms and place her in my waist and attempt to substantiate the façade my face portends. She wants to be fed oil and ammunition; I have plenty of both and a hunger to apply them.

Her slide is pulled back and away from her frame, allowing a lovely round to play peek-a-boo. That slide is not angled incongruently to her frame and is doing the pouting disallowed by the unbending barrel. Wilson makes the light dance delicately across her grips, frame and barrel, perfectly illuminating their gentle undulations. The difference in lighting from above her delicate mag release compared to below is noticeable and a deliberate and successful effort by Wilson to concentrate the shooters attention upward. He may have been too successful in drawing the viewer away from the sights.

That mag release seems nearly an afterthought by Wilson, as though the John Browning propriety police from a century earlier had somehow possessed his gunsmithing tools from their graves, ordering a state-of-the-art release as they did in their own time. Wilson resisted as much as he could; another hundredth-thousandth in any direction and the mag release would be indelicately exposed. With her uncovered, should I rise quickly from my chair, gravity would place an appreciative smile upon the face of me at the expense of my target.

This flirtation with precision is acceptable for entrance into the high-end 1911 club, but is a precursor of Wilson’ts greater fame to come, when he abandons the exclusivity of pistols and begins manufacturing long guns.

I am not seated with my lovely beauty in an armchair by chance. A firearm titled “Wilson on a Bench” or “Wilson on a Stool” would not have had the embracing grips and backstrap of a firearm to comfort me in this time of reflection and rest. The back of the pistol rises to cradle the middle of my palm, allowing and embracing the languid repose of the upper body. Despite its critical role in the pistol, Wilson keeps the details of the grips and background muted and almost fuzzy, directing our attention to the meditative sights.

The varying shades of blue on the upper pistol seem to amplify my mood. The streak of gun oil on the blue suggest sunlight and happier times struggling to peek through the gloom. A trace of this embattled light surmounts the top of the barrel to grace her slide release.
Billowing blackness unfurls in the opposite target, my arms keeping its muzzle rise in check. This darkness is the result of the Wilson’s extreme accuracy.

“Wilson in an Armchair” perfectly demonstrates the beginning of better target shooting, drawing from the universality of the classics yet capturing the incidental moment central to the tenants of the 1911. This genius is measured by the test of time. A Mozart symphony is as fresh and relevant today as the day the notes were laid to paper several hundred years before Wilson’s era. Wilson has captured emotions in a spectacular yet understated style with oil and metal that Mozart captured and released with music. Mozart and Wilson were both fortunate in earning public recognition and
fortune from their work. Other great gunmakers have spent a brief life unrecognized and unrewarded financially. Historically, time and fate have a way of superceding contemporary tastes and giving genius, like that of Wilson, its due.
 
seeker
Parody is a little more difficult to pull off than you might think. You have to consider your audience. Transferring sexual ideation to gun terminology can work but you get too technical and your parody ends up reading like a gun manual. Essentially your whole parody relies on one 'joke' and if people don't get it or get it and don't like it then they lose interest.

You might want to try shortening it and keeping to just a few simple descriptions and a few jokes that you can refer back to throughout. Personally I might have played a bit more on the confusion between guns and sex, perhaps interchanging terminology in the descriptions to make the substitution more blatant and provide a clearer guide to your reader. Another option might have been to take off into a rant, a sort of passionate fantasy that is completely tangential in a revealing way.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
Theory_Execution
Means nout to me, no guns in the UK. It's illegal for me to leave my house with my folding Frost Cutlery flying falcon 3.2inch folding blade in my pocket.

My Mammut Rostfrei never sees the light of day.

Both cheap as chips, got them in my early teens, made in China I believe.
 
seeker
See Kowboy, you lost England.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana
 
Kowboy
seeker wrote:

See Kowboy, you lost England.


Oh, I really feel bad about that.
 
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