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WTF Florida?
Theory_Execution
JohnH, you will always have pointless murders in the US due to your gun laws, and you as a people are a lot more confrontational than many other nations.

The fact is, no one other than Zimmerman knows how the initial fight was begun - what we do know is that legally he could stalk his town armed to the teeth, and say what ever he wanted to anyone.

That I think is the problem in this case, in the UK you would be arrested if you patrolled your streets armed - neighbourhood watch is just that, watching in the UK.

Hypatia, after my unemployment and developing anxiety issue, I have become more understanding of other peoples moods.
 
Hypatia
JohnH wrote:

Hypatia, odd being a man at times. I remember events such as being told by a lesbian she was such, simply because I remarked on a sporting event we were both watching. I assume she thought I was hitting on her even if I was already well aware she had no sexual interest in me.

I have routinely been careful when on the street walking and I realized a woman nearby may be troubled by my presence.

Fortunately I am now old enough that most women feel they can ignore me. Two hookers in the Tenderloin (San Francisco) made that clear some 20 years ago, still hints that I am dangerous remain.

It is a very unpleasant feeling and one I wish would go away.

I will also say that one of the drivers of continued racism is that few will acknowledge the situation of the other. Pushing 50 years ago I recognized that as a white male getting a degree in a very employable profession I was going to probably have an easy life. I considered the circumstances that led to that position and realized it was all blind, dumb luck. I considered the possible circumstances that might have made things different and realized they were in fact quite subtle and just a tweak here and there and my life might be very different. I have tried to be sensitive to the other ever since.


Oh, trust me John, I truly do try to consider what the male perspective must be like. I didn't mean to sound as if I'm just constantly on guard and wary of men, but I think it's more that encountering someone in a confined or isolated area kind of makes the extra-awareness thing kick in.

Unless a man is just immediately obviously creepy or behaving creepy or questioningly, I'm not automatically on my guard if they speak to me, strike up a conversation. My first thought isn't that they are trying to hit on me, though at my age now I might start thinking that, just to flatter myself, lol. The times when it is apparent that a man is showing a kind of attention I'm not interested in it's usually easy enough to kindly and respectfully let him know that I'm not interested, but that I did appreciate his noticing. Otherwise, I find conversation struck up by men unknown to me to be just as interesting as any other . I'd be happy to have you speak to me if you were sitting next to me somewhere (and I don't care what people look like).
 
JohnH
Hypatia, I just reread your above post. The odd thing about the encounter with the lesbian is that we were both habitues of the same tavern. If she had payed any attention to my behaviors there she would have known that I was making a simple comment on the sporting event we were watching. I had payed enough attention to her (she was more than a little attractive) that I knew she had no sexual interest in men.

I suppose the above is a little egotistical because why would she notice me at all, older and not so attractive any more (you should have seen me in my teens and twenties). Still those people who frequent a place you also frequent should have some idea of who you are. I am not creepy, at least few find me such. It was a very strange response, even if she thought I was hitting on her.


Differently, waiting for coffee in one of those places where you stand in line to order and pick up I asked a woman wearing an obvious soccer (football) uniform how her team had done. She was immediately on the defensive. I was then forced to remove myself and come back later. It seemed so innocent on my part but I could understand her discomfort.
 
Theory_Execution
This is something that worries me about discussions about feminism - ultimately, people interact with people for evolutionary reasons.

Sexual attraction is one of those reasons. And just because it may be the nucleus around which the idea of speaking to another person grows, does not mean that the fruits of that idea or conversation should be ignored.

So, I avoid new people a lot of the time now - and the world is more miserable for it.
 
Hypatia
JohnH wrote:

Hypatia, I just reread your above post. The odd thing about the encounter with the lesbian is that we were both habitues of the same tavern. If she had payed any attention to my behaviors there she would have known that I was making a simple comment on the sporting event we were watching. I had payed enough attention to her (she was more than a little attractive) that I knew she had no sexual interest in men.

I suppose the above is a little egotistical because why would she notice me at all, older and not so attractive any more (you should have seen me in my teens and twenties). Still those people who frequent a place you also frequent should have some idea of who you are. I am not creepy, at least few find me such. It was a very strange response, even if she thought I was hitting on her.


Differently, waiting for coffee in one of those places where you stand in line to order and pick up I asked a woman wearing an obvious soccer (football) uniform how her team had done. She was immediately on the defensive. I was then forced to remove myself and come back later. It seemed so innocent on my part but I could understand her discomfort.



People get so defensive so easily these days and it doesn't make any sense to me. I've encountered people who, when I've simply been friendly, seem to be offended that I had the audacity to speak to them. All I can do is laugh, really, because it's so confusing. At first I think, 'What could I possibly have said to get that reaction?', but I know it isn't me, it's just that some people can be inexplicably odd.

It's a shame that woman, after having seen you around the tavern occasionally, thought there was any reason to find your attempt at innocent conversation offensive. If she thought it was for the sole purpose of making advances towards her, she's awfully egotistical. And you're not egotistical - it has nothing to do with, or shouldn't, anyway, whether there's any reason for her to have or not have noticed you, it's a matter of you just being a decent, kind PERSON - a person first, then a man, striking up conversation with another person you've seen at the same establishment you frequent, so she's the one with the problem. But the woman in line at the coffee place reacting that way? Wow. As a woman, I sure wish I could explain these women's behavior, but I am at a loss for an explanation. I find it saddening that some people find it necessary to be like that, but if it's any consolation, I think it happens to all of us occasionally. I guess at the very least it tells us who NOT to try to talk to.

Like T_E, I've gotten to where I don't speak to people in public as much because I've also grown weary of encountering nasty attitudes when I'm really just a friendly person. I'm quite a bit of an introvert, but I can easily be social and all when I want to be, but anymore it's so hard to tell when being so won't just backfire. I keep to myself a lot when away from home.
 
Hypatia
I know if someone I saw on some kind of regular basis somewhere, like at a tavern, spoke to me I'd probably be very pleased and receptive, because it's nice when people acknowledge you're a familiar face and are interested in taking the time to initiate conversation. If for some reason I'm not interested, I certainly don't feel the need to be rude to them or assume they have some other motive other than what they've actually put before me. But that's just me. An introvert, but I try with people, at least.
 
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