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Swine flu
Doubting Thomas
How to tell if someone has the swine flu:

1. In between coughs, they grunt, squeal, & make oinking noises.
2. They have a fever and it smells like bacon frying.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
oy-nk. lol.

You failed to mention fever fueled delusions of being a politician.
I'll drink to that. Or anything else for that matter.
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