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"Big Government. Small Brains. Dumb Laws"
Here is a list of a few dumb laws. If you want to see the full list go here http://www.dumbla...

-It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church
-Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

-It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

-You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

-Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.

-Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

-No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days.

-It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

Rehoboth Beach
-On Halloween, children may only “trick-or-treat” from 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM, and if Halloween falls on a Sunday, they must “trick-or-treat” on October 30 during this same time interval.
-One may not whisper in church.

-One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person.
-Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.
-A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
-Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
-You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
-It is considered an offense to shower naked.

-All sex toys are banned
-No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday

-All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.

-Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.

-The English language is not to be spoken.
-One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth.
-It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one’s dog.

-Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
-The value of Pi is 3.
-It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
-A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
-You can get out of paying for a dependent’s medical care by praying for him/her.

-Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
-It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.
-Doctors who treat a person with gonorrhea must report this to the local board of health and include the disease’s “probable origin”.

-If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.

Fort Thomas
-Dogs may not molest cars.
-A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.

-One could possibly land in jail for 20 years upon urinating in the city’s water supply.
-Running an abortion advertisement can land you in jail for a year.
-Prisoners who hurt themselves could serve an additional two years in jail.

-Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
-After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.

-Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere
-Persons may not swear while on the highway

-All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
-Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
-A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
-Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
-Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
-Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.

-Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.
-No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.
-A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
-You may not swear in front of women and children.
-Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
-There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.


-It is illegal to sleep naked.


-If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
-It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
-A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
-Private citizens may personally arrest any person that disturbs a church service.
-Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison
-It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.

-It is not illegal to speed
-Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).

-Prostitution is considered a “crime against the family”.
-One may not pretend to abuse an animal in the presence of a minor.
-In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
-Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.


-Persons with gonorrhea may not marry.
-If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
-It is Illegal to go whale fishing.

-Sex toys are outlawed.

New Hampshire
-You may not run machinery on Sundays.
-On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

New Jersey
-It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
-It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
-You cannot pump your own gas.

New Mexico

-Idiots may not vote.
-State officials ordered 400 words of “sexually explicit material” to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

New York
-A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.
-The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
-A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

North Carolina
-No one may be a professional fortune-teller, and if one wishes to pursue the practice as an amateur, it must be practiced in a school or church.
-It’s against the law to sing off key
-While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.
-If a man and a woman who aren’t married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.
-All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.
-It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard
-Oral sex is considered a crime against nature
-Serving alcohol at a bingo game is not allowed.

North Dakota

-Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
-It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

-Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
-No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.

-Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
-Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings
-Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punishable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.
-Tattoos are banned. (Repealed, Effective 11/1/2006. Tattoos are now legal in Oklahoma!)
-It is illegal to have sex before you are married.

-Drivers may not pump their own gas.
-An adult may not show a minor any piece of classical artwork which depicts sexual excitement.
-It is illegal to whisper “dirty” things in your lover’s ear during sex.
-Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
-It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.

-A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
-You may not sing in the bathtub.

Rhode Island
-Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.

South Carolina
-By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.
-Dance halls may not operate on Sundays.
-It is illegal to sell any alcoholic beverages on Sunday, unless you own a private club.
-It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
-Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.
-A permit must be obtained to fire a missile.

South Dakota
-Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
-If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.

-Ministers are to be dedicated to God and therefore are not eligible to hold a seat in either House of the Legislature.
-“Crimes against nature” are prohibited.
-No Christian parent may require their children to pick up trash from the highway on Easter day.
-The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature.
-Interracial marriages are illegal.

-Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
-A recently passed anti crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
-Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.
-The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

-It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.
-No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
-Alcohol may not be sold during an emergency.
-It is illegal to cause a catastrophe.


-Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
-It is illegal to deny the existence of God.

-Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary.
-There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates.
-If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.
-Police radar detectors are illegal.
-No animal may be hunted for on Sunday with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2:00 AM.

-No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold.
-All lollipops are banned.
-People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
-You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday.

West Virginia
-Unmarried couple who live together and “lewdly associate” with one another may face up to a year in prison.
-Any person who commits adultery shall be fined at least twenty dollars.
-A person may be placed in jail for up to six months for making fun of someone who does not accept a challenge.
-Whistling underwater is prohibited.
-Roadkill may be taken home for supper.


-Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
-At one time, margarine was illegal.
-The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife.
-While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.
-It is illegal to kiss on a train.
-It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.

-Junk dealers may not make any business transactions with drunk persons
-It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
-You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

Finally the worst laws of them laws-a type of law in the United States and Canada designed to enforce moral standards, particularly the observance of Sunday as a day of worship or rest, and a restriction on Sunday shopping...
I've found the majority of laws are stupid laws, passed with emotion, not with logic.
"The world is my country, and do good is my religion." - Thomas Paine
Bob of QF
BTW, the PI=3 law is myth/urban legend. Never passed.

I wonder how many others on the list are urban legend?
Quantum Junction: Use both lanes

Reality is that which is left, after you stop believing.
Bob of QF wrote:
BTW, the PI=3 law is myth/urban legend. Never passed.

I wonder how many others on the list are urban legend?

I was wondering that my self.
I'm wondering why there is so much legislation about men getting a hard-on in public-like they have any control over that thing whatsoever.

And what's with all the dildo and sex toy legislation!?!?
It's too bad that the New Mexico law "Idiots may not vote" isn't federal. Problem is, idiots would decide who the idiots were.
"If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas." - General Sheridan
I read somewhere that cattle rustling is still on the books a hangable offense in Texas but I didn't check to see if it's true. Probably is though. There are a lot of wacko laws, most put there by overbearing religious idiots. It would be ridiculous and scary if they tried to enforce them.
Some crazy old laws are still on the English statute books, too. One that's always tickled me is that it is illegal to shoot a Scotsman in North Berwick with a bow and arrow ... but only on Sundays. Rest of the week, he's fair game.

Until very recently, by the way, the northern border town of North Berwick was still officially at war with Germany. The city had to declare war separately in 1914 when its identity as English or Scottish was disputed. It later became English, but the town forgot to sign an amnesty so, in principle, the First World War carried on there for something like eighty years.

Okay so in Arizona its against the law for Bush to be in a house with McCain?
If they enforced these laws and I ever got caught. I would be a criminal in all the states I've lived in.
Rayven: I think cattle rustling is still a hanging offense in Texas. 'Git a rope, we're gonna have us a necktie party!' Gunsmoke lives.
"If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas." - General Sheridan
catman wrote:
It's too bad that the New Mexico law "Idiots may not vote" isn't federal. Problem is, idiots would decide who the idiots were.

schmoo wrote:
I'm wondering why there is so much legislation about men getting a hard-on in public-like they have any control over that thing whatsoever.

And what's with all the dildo and sex toy legislation!?!?

Funny you should say that Schmoo, in my State they're looking to pass legislation about men masturbating in the mens rooms at the malls here. Seems all the hot, sexy young girls are a turn on to them so they use the mens room and end up getting arrested if caught.

Seems all the old guys back then were afraid the wives would rather have the dildo's and sex toys then have them. Considering all the stupid laws they wrote I can see why.
Well now there then. Seems it's a good thing I don't live in Florida since I get the hots for porcupines like I do.


Good thing I don't live in Nebraska. I have heard that the whale fishing is even better than here in Indiana.

I have it better than those in Illinois, though, at least I can pee in my neighbor's mouth and not get arrested. ;dancejig;
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